For part 1 of a 2 part Oscar Episode the guys finally got fresh. After being beat down by bad movie after bad movie, Nick, Stephen, and friend of the pod Alex Mallonee discuss their top 10 films of 2017. They award their own oscars, discuss who had the best years, and just really what tickled our fancy this year.
Happy Oscars Day to all you cool cats out there. Feline like a not-so-great film to counter-balance the celebration of this year’s best? Nothing is finer than Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry’s most superiorly inferior superhero film, Catwoman! Join Nick, Stephen, and special guest Derrick Lamb as we discuss this unintentional farce.
Derrick’s blurb: A hairball would leave a better taste in my mouth than this Catwoman movie.
Stephen’s blurb: Meow’s not the time, meow’s never the time, for a Halle Berry–Sharon Stone–Benjamin Bratt vehicle.
Nick’s blurb: Cross in your eyes.
Are you already having Olympics withdrawals, well we have the show for you, D2: The Mighty Ducks. Just like T2, D2 is an action romp filled with... action? It features the classic matchup of youth hockey titans Iceland and USA (most of which come from the same Twin Cities area in Minnesota). This episode, Nick and Stephen, with the help of actual hockey player Matt, discuss everything from Trinidad and Tabago having a hockey team, to why the hell they kept Goldberg in despite giving up obscene amounts of goals.
Stephen’s blurb: This movie was just as good, and just as terrible, when when I initially saw this in 1994.
Matt’s blurb: It was like the awkward middle movie that I can’t keep watching enough of.
Nick’s blurb: Quack.
We hope you listen to this episode about love and grief and shallow selfish characters only caring about their love and grief. Ah, life! Nick and Stephen and special guest (A WOMAN) Rachael break down the movie meant to break you down. They talk new versions of the movie, Swankiest moments, and a new segment, Rachael's Rant!
P.S. I love shoes
Stephen’s blurb: If you’re a fan of happy movies, sad movies, movies that give you hope, movies that make you want to change your life—watch The Mighty Ducks 2.
Nick’s blurb: Dear P.S. I Love You, It was okay to see you again. P.P.S. Never again. That’s from Nick.
Rachael’s blurb: P.S. I Love You—relive a lost relationship, and take a walk through Holly’s ugly shoes.
You remember a few month ago when Jackie Chan came back? Yeah, do you remember The Fifth Element? Well, good news, we reviewed Rush Hour 3 for you! Two special guests, Genevieve and Alex, joined Nick in studio for a bonus pod! The first special guest pod of many more to come. Anyway, Rush Hour 3 did not age well. We recorded this at the end of last year, and had this movie come out in 2017 it would not have survived a week. Shoutout to Brett Rat (our new nickname for him). Watch the movie or just listen, we get pretty deep.
Genevieve’s blurb: The cast must’ve stretched daily to be able to film such a massive reach of a trilogy. Rush Hour 3 is the Brett Ratner of the saga—an unwanted and annoying assault. #bonuspointsforpunchingpolanskiintheface
Nick and Stephen have no blurbs of their own for this one, but they like Genevieve’s blurb.
When the Game Stands Tall. What does that even mean? Nobody knows and we're pretty sure that's the point. Regardless we watched a movie about the worst high school in northern California and we talked about it.
Nick’s blurb: They converted on 4th and goal—if goal was a mediocre football movie about a high school I’ll never feel bad for.
Mike’s blurb: You might want to Remember the Titans, but you’ll want to forget When the Game Stands Tall.
Stephen’s blurb: Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us, he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks (Psalms 137:8–9).
Strange indeed. To celebrate the new year and the new legality of everyone's favorite substance we watched a Strange Wilderness. Bear with us as we navigate this new world we live in. If the movie doesn't bring you in, the guest will, Joe is not only the best looking guest we've had on, he's also the most musically inclined. So listen to our most meandering musical munchie filled show yet!
Stephen’s blurb: This movie was clearly a contractual obligation from Paramount, or an elaborate hoax by Fred Wolf to the American people on what was considered a popular comedic film.
Joe’s blurb: This is the Happy Madison Jonestown, the career suicide of everybody in it.
Nick’s blurb: If Strange Wilderness was a show on TV, it would be the only show on my DVR.
Like John Travolta, we're on the fence about Battlefield Earth. Is it beautiful, is it good? We decided somewhere in the middle saying this is worst movie we watched in 2017. It took us a while to get around to editing due do the holiday season, but here it is. Wait no longer. Battlefield Earth. If you have not seen this film, you still have your innocence. As for the rest of you, enjoy!
Alex’s blurb: Battlefield Earth—a cinematic wonder, as in, I wonder who decided to make this movie.
Nick’s blurb: After I saw Battlefield Earth, I felt like going Psychlos.
Stephen’s blurb: Battlefield Earth only reinforces my opinon on white guys in dreads.
Hanukkah for Christmas! You got it! We get deep into what has to be one of the top five Hanukkah movies of all time. It's an Adam Sandler animated musical... sooooo you'll love it?
Stephen’s blurb: If you gave an eight-year-old $30 million, his own animation studio, and his journal from when he was six years old, to write a movie, you’d probably end up with Eight Crazy Nights.
Eric’s blurb: Eight Crazy Nights is a family-fun-filled catastrophe fueled by the American Dream. This Academy Award-winning snub brings the room together by bridging the religious differences of modern religions and their celebrations. A heart-stopping, all-around family-fun film—for the ages.
Nick’s blurb: If I was on meth for eight nights and I watched this movie, I would say I liked it.
Is not having an episode of Reel Rotten about The Room tearing you apparrtttt! Well, good news, we did The Room for our latest episode, bad news is, it's going to tear you apart. In the gentlest way possible. Nick and Stephen sat down with The Room aficionado Ryan Grennan to bring you what we think is our best episode yet. Listen and enjoy, I guarantee you'll be as turned on (not sexually) as we were! Download and listen!
Ryan’s blurb: The Room is the American Dream. Tommy Wiseau attempted to create something that was iconic and he did so in the complete opposite direction that he was intending, therefore he achieved the American Dream—success.
Stephen’s blurb: This movie made me believe in sex scenes again.
Nick’s blurb: I never wanted to go to the room, but now I never want to leave.
Top Gun, Color of Money, Rain Man, Born on the 4th of July, and Cocktail.... Which of these doesn't quite fit in? We don't care for your sarcastic answers, because Cocktail is the movie we watched and discussed! Stephen (new co-host) and Nick talk cocks and tails and Nick interviews a real life Tom Cruise, not even kidding. Download and listen!
Nick’s blurb: Cocktail, the movie where you need cocktails and where dreams go to die.
Stephen’s blurb: Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue, and Bryan Brown give phenomenal performances in this movie. Everything else about this is terrible.
Special guest @ 1:05:00
Eragon, Eragon, where have thou Eragon? We watched the Lord of the Rings rip off that never spawned a sequel, because we were still juiced off of Game of Thrones. It may have taken away our raging Throners but we still had a good time watching Jeremy Irons pretend he wasn't dead behind his eyes doing this dialog. Esy's last pod before he moved to New York!
Esy’s blurb: Adapting a 15-year-old’s book is tough, but that’s exactly why you need 15,000 horseback-riding montages.
Nick’s blurb: If Star Wars and Lord of the Rings had a baby, it would kill Eragon in a second because he is just a piece of garbage.
Here we go again... Fraser, mummies, yetis, China? Yaks? We watched The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor and it was the most ridiculous movie we've seen yet. The sound is a little bit off because we recorded outside the studio so bear with us and get down with mummies. What the fuck was this movie even about...Read More
One movie was bold enough to put two of films greatest monsters against each other... Not Godzilla vs. King Kong. Not Charizard vs. MewTwo. No. This is Alien vs. Predator. A 21% rotten film that was just about everything it promised it was in the title. We get right into it, just like a face hugger into your ear hole, so give us a listen.Read More
The inaugural episode of Reel Rotten Podcast, where we discuss just how much Suicide Squad makes you want to commit suicide (squad). We talk about everything from the underdeveloped characters to the underdeveloped plot, to the first Mom Review from Nick's mom.Read More