My editor (I don’t have an editor) told me to give him 500 words on why my Marvel draft would crush every other team drafted by my inferior looking and less charismatic co-podcasters. I told him that’s pretty mean of him to say, and isn’t it a little late for Avengers content. He told me to grow up and go write about how my fictional team of fictional characters would win an utterly hypothetical battle of the ages… I said, sure.
First we need to set the ground rules for this thing and since I’m the only one writing about it I get to make up these completely arbitrary rules on the fly. Rule #1 – Only MCU films (including Endgame) can serve as background for the characters and their abilities. No comic book mumbo jumbo, and that’s strictly because I didn’t read comic books. You may think that ruins my credibility in this argument and you’re completely right in that respect but also wrong if you think I care. Rule #2 - No time travel. It’s cheating and can never be explained correctly. Rule #3 – No one is dead. That puts a few people back in play. That’s it! Unless I think of some loophole those are the only rules.
Now let’s look at my team. Captain Marvel, Spiderman, Vision, Ant-Man, and Hawkeye. I’ll be the first to admit Hawkeye is the weak link of this team. He’s far too eager to die and made the classic mistake of choosing to be really good at archery instead of guns like a normal person. I really just needed a human mascot for my team to get behind when he undoubtedly gets killed. Hawkeye is basically my Rudy, if Rudy was mercilessly hammered into smithereens by the opposing team and the team wins for him. A less relevant analogy is Hawkeye is my Gipper. The rest of my team is unstoppable after that. Captain Marvel is my leader and most powerful, handling a lot of the main combat with the other A members from other teams. She is as strong or stronger than any other Avenger. After her the rest of my team agilities you to death. Spiderman, can’t be contained. Vision is a superhuman in ever respect except that he’s not human (which makes him better). Ant-Man, funny, and can shrink down go inside your body and then go big exploding literally every character from every other team. The only opposing team member I’m even a little worried about is Scarlett Witch and that’s where Vision comes in. Using his robot english accent he woos her again and then stabs her in the back because he’s an android and is not actually capable of love. Sorry Scarlett, but he just don’t give a damn.
What pushes my already erupting mountain of confidence to unseen dinosaur ending levels is my team’s likeability. Spiderman is arguably the most beloved character in the MCU right now and Ant-Man is the only member of the B-cast in Engame that anyone gave two shits about. Captain Marvel is a beacon of light in this dark patriarchal world and Hawkeye has a Mohawk! What’s not to like? Anyway, if you feel the need to tell me how wrong you are, please do on our Twitter @ReelRotten. I’ll be happy to Ant-Man your argument in front of your very eyes.
Draft Order: KJax - Stephen - Kyle - Nick (snake draft)