Picture something made of your nightmares conglomerated. Now picture that as a snowman. We present to you, Jack Frost. No, we’re not talking about the horror film Jack Frost about a murdering serial killer snowman, this is the much more terrifying Jack Frost… Michael Keaton. For our second Christmas movie we watched a film about a man that dies and comes back to life as a snowman to spend more quality time with his kid. We’re still not sure what qualifies something as “quality time” but there is no way watching this film could qualify as quality time spent. Nick and Stephen drudge through the blizzard that is this movie; with minimal help from Kyle and a new challenge aspect of the podcast the guys get right down to why snowmen are scary, the physics of being made of snow and many more things you should probably listen to and learn if you want to survive this Christmas. Listen and subscribe.
The Circle is just a shape to most of you, but to others it's life. We get deep into the ridiculous premise that is The Circle and just how a movie that could have been so right, goes so dang wrong. Featuring bad accents, police states, and kayaks this movie has it all and we have something to say about all of it. Complete with our own shape themed movies and general disbelief that this movie was made.
Blade. Laser. Blazer. Wesley Snipes doesn't wear a blazer in this movie but he sure does fuck up some vampires. We watched Blade: Trinity in honor of Ryan Reynolds talking his way into Deadpool. Thought it was on the high side of Rotten Tomatoes this movie will always be low to us. Featuring our "guest" Alex (we know, we know), we break down just how Blade: Trinity breaks down 15 minutes into the movie. Though under 2 hours it really feels like 2+ hours you'll never get back. We talk Reynolds, we talk Biel, we talk Snipes, we talk drunk(ish) because that's really the only way to watch this movie. Listen up and listen in!
March Madness is almost at an end, but just in case you're not ready we have a podcast episode for you! We watched NCAA basketball movie favorite, The Sixth Man. We brought on our own sixth man, hoophead Dave, who provided the 6'8" height, as well as the basketball knowledge to this MADNESS themed podcast. We talked the Wayans, how having a ghost on your team is cheating, death, and of course did a fantasy basketball draft. LISTEN UP!
It's the month of women, and we're starting to think we celebrated it the wrong way, we watched Lara Croft: Tomb Raider. With the help of girlfriend of the pod, Ellen, we dive deep into the (arguably) better version of Indiana Jones. We talk about Angie's career making movie, how it leads to Brad Pitt, Cambodia, and beyond. The episode also features the new and most exciting games ever to be done (probably) on Reel Rotten.
WARNING: In honor of this being the worst movie of the year we produced easily our worst podcast to date. We experienced feedback and buzzing throughout the episode, and though we would love to blame it on our producer Kyle it seems to be just a temporary equipment malfunction. So if you make it through the episode, email us and we'll send you bitcoins. REAL BITCOINS!
Fire emoji, is not the emoji we would use to describe this movie. The "winner" of The Golden Raspberry, The Emoji Movie is perhaps not actually the worst film of last year, but it definitely isn't the best. Nick, Stephen and special/default guest/producer Kyle go in depth on a movie about using pictures to talk. Give it a listen, or not, we don't give a [poop emoji].
Happy Oscars Day to all you cool cats out there. Feline like a not-so-great film to counter-balance the celebration of this year’s best? Nothing is finer than Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry’s most superiorly inferior superhero film, Catwoman! Join Nick, Stephen, and special guest Derrick Lamb as we discuss this unintentional farce.
Derrick’s blurb: A hairball would leave a better taste in my mouth than this Catwoman movie.
Stephen’s blurb: Meow’s not the time, meow’s never the time, for a Halle Berry–Sharon Stone–Benjamin Bratt vehicle.
Nick’s blurb: Cross in your eyes.
Are you already having Olympics withdrawals, well we have the show for you, D2: The Mighty Ducks. Just like T2, D2 is an action romp filled with... action? It features the classic matchup of youth hockey titans Iceland and USA (most of which come from the same Twin Cities area in Minnesota). This episode, Nick and Stephen, with the help of actual hockey player Matt, discuss everything from Trinidad and Tabago having a hockey team, to why the hell they kept Goldberg in despite giving up obscene amounts of goals.
Stephen’s blurb: This movie was just as good, and just as terrible, when when I initially saw this in 1994.
Matt’s blurb: It was like the awkward middle movie that I can’t keep watching enough of.
Nick’s blurb: Quack.
We hope you listen to this episode about love and grief and shallow selfish characters only caring about their love and grief. Ah, life! Nick and Stephen and special guest (A WOMAN) Rachael break down the movie meant to break you down. They talk new versions of the movie, Swankiest moments, and a new segment, Rachael's Rant!
P.S. I love shoes
Stephen’s blurb: If you’re a fan of happy movies, sad movies, movies that give you hope, movies that make you want to change your life—watch The Mighty Ducks 2.
Nick’s blurb: Dear P.S. I Love You, It was okay to see you again. P.P.S. Never again. That’s from Nick.
Rachael’s blurb: P.S. I Love You—relive a lost relationship, and take a walk through Holly’s ugly shoes.
You remember a few month ago when Jackie Chan came back? Yeah, do you remember The Fifth Element? Well, good news, we reviewed Rush Hour 3 for you! Two special guests, Genevieve and Alex, joined Nick in studio for a bonus pod! The first special guest pod of many more to come. Anyway, Rush Hour 3 did not age well. We recorded this at the end of last year, and had this movie come out in 2017 it would not have survived a week. Shoutout to Brett Rat (our new nickname for him). Watch the movie or just listen, we get pretty deep.
Genevieve’s blurb: The cast must’ve stretched daily to be able to film such a massive reach of a trilogy. Rush Hour 3 is the Brett Ratner of the saga—an unwanted and annoying assault. #bonuspointsforpunchingpolanskiintheface
Nick and Stephen have no blurbs of their own for this one, but they like Genevieve’s blurb.
When the Game Stands Tall. What does that even mean? Nobody knows and we're pretty sure that's the point. Regardless we watched a movie about the worst high school in northern California and we talked about it.
Nick’s blurb: They converted on 4th and goal—if goal was a mediocre football movie about a high school I’ll never feel bad for.
Mike’s blurb: You might want to Remember the Titans, but you’ll want to forget When the Game Stands Tall.
Stephen’s blurb: Happy is he who repays you for what you have done to us, he who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks (Psalms 137:8–9).
Strange indeed. To celebrate the new year and the new legality of everyone's favorite substance we watched a Strange Wilderness. Bear with us as we navigate this new world we live in. If the movie doesn't bring you in, the guest will, Joe is not only the best looking guest we've had on, he's also the most musically inclined. So listen to our most meandering musical munchie filled show yet!
Stephen’s blurb: This movie was clearly a contractual obligation from Paramount, or an elaborate hoax by Fred Wolf to the American people on what was considered a popular comedic film.
Joe’s blurb: This is the Happy Madison Jonestown, the career suicide of everybody in it.
Nick’s blurb: If Strange Wilderness was a show on TV, it would be the only show on my DVR.
Like John Travolta, we're on the fence about Battlefield Earth. Is it beautiful, is it good? We decided somewhere in the middle saying this is worst movie we watched in 2017. It took us a while to get around to editing due do the holiday season, but here it is. Wait no longer. Battlefield Earth. If you have not seen this film, you still have your innocence. As for the rest of you, enjoy!
Alex’s blurb: Battlefield Earth—a cinematic wonder, as in, I wonder who decided to make this movie.
Nick’s blurb: After I saw Battlefield Earth, I felt like going Psychlos.
Stephen’s blurb: Battlefield Earth only reinforces my opinon on white guys in dreads.
Is not having an episode of Reel Rotten about The Room tearing you apparrtttt! Well, good news, we did The Room for our latest episode, bad news is, it's going to tear you apart. In the gentlest way possible. Nick and Stephen sat down with The Room aficionado Ryan Grennan to bring you what we think is our best episode yet. Listen and enjoy, I guarantee you'll be as turned on (not sexually) as we were! Download and listen!
Ryan’s blurb: The Room is the American Dream. Tommy Wiseau attempted to create something that was iconic and he did so in the complete opposite direction that he was intending, therefore he achieved the American Dream—success.
Stephen’s blurb: This movie made me believe in sex scenes again.
Nick’s blurb: I never wanted to go to the room, but now I never want to leave.
Top Gun, Color of Money, Rain Man, Born on the 4th of July, and Cocktail.... Which of these doesn't quite fit in? We don't care for your sarcastic answers, because Cocktail is the movie we watched and discussed! Stephen (new co-host) and Nick talk cocks and tails and Nick interviews a real life Tom Cruise, not even kidding. Download and listen!
Nick’s blurb: Cocktail, the movie where you need cocktails and where dreams go to die.
Stephen’s blurb: Tom Cruise, Elisabeth Shue, and Bryan Brown give phenomenal performances in this movie. Everything else about this is terrible.
Special guest @ 1:05:00
One movie was bold enough to put two of films greatest monsters against each other... Not Godzilla vs. King Kong. Not Charizard vs. MewTwo. No. This is Alien vs. Predator. A 21% rotten film that was just about everything it promised it was in the title. We get right into it, just like a face hugger into your ear hole, so give us a listen.Read More
The inaugural episode of Reel Rotten Podcast, where we discuss just how much Suicide Squad makes you want to commit suicide (squad). We talk about everything from the underdeveloped characters to the underdeveloped plot, to the first Mom Review from Nick's mom.Read More